Effingut Brewerkz – A Hard Punch To My Gut & Soul!

I never ever imagined I would be penning a review as the one I am penning right now. I contemplated for days whether I should write this review, but I had to be fair to the work I put out for people who read my reviews hence…. If I write when the food is stellar, then it’s only right that I pen when the food isn’t up to the mark. 

Effingut Brewerkz has been on my list of favourite restaurants for as long as it’s been around. On a recent trip to Mumbai, (this was a ‘mein aur meri tanhai’ kinda trip where I chose to meet up with merely one or two close friends - #ILoveMySolitude ) knowing that Apru Effy had begun operations in Mumbai, I opted to eat lunch there with my friend, Chetna. I chose Effingut over all other restaurants in SoBo.

After we reached, I clicked a couple of photographs of the restaurant interiors and got down to ordering food. I had been itching to try the Hot Wings that I had heard so much about. My friend and I were too chicken to try the Bhut Jolakia and Spicy Harrisa, hence we opted for the Mango Habanero Wings and our all-time Pune favourite, Prawns Mustard Chili. The Mango Habanero Wings were to die for. The flavours were excellent! Spicy, quite spicy, but not to the extent that it would blow a hole in your gut. It is very unfair that we, Punekars, do not have these stellar babies on the Pune menu. *wicked grin with the hope that they get added to the menu*

This is where everything positive about this meal ends…

Mustard Chili Prawns at Effingut Brewerkz - Mumbai Colaba

The Prawns Mustard Chili is a dish I never tire of. I have to have this whenever I step into Effy. This time was no different but, unfortunately, the dish served was very different to what is served in Pune. I cannot complain about the chili quotient, but the mustard and the prawns were all wrong. Instead of the beautifully subtle mustard I am used to, the mustard here was potent and the prawns were rubbery and overcooked. Such a big disappointment this!

Mustard Chili Prawns at Effingut Brewerkz - Pune (for comparison with regard to the delicate mustard coating)

Nasi Goreng at Effingut Brewerkz - Pune (for comparison with regard to the spice quotient of the rice and prawns)

We chose to order one main and share. Once again, I opt for a Pune favourite; Prawn Nasi Goreng. The dish was very well presented. We took a skewer each of prawn that was on the platter and shared the rice. 

When we tried to de-skewer the prawns they were stuck to the skewer like their lives depended on it; little did we realize at the time they were very dead (read on to know why I say this). We finally pried them loose on to our respective plates. I ate precisely one morsel of rice and it was nothing like the one we have at Pune. Chefs differ? Yes! Recipes may differ a tad bit? Yes! But these flavours were just not Nasi Goreng. The rice looked and felt like Masala Bhaat. That’s the only way I can describe what I was served. 

I decided to munch on the skewered prawn. I picked up the prawn and bit into it. I gagged! I literally gagged! The stench was of a prawn gone so bad, it was inedible: it had probably been dead for decades. (Decade is, of course, an exaggeration but you get my drift) I spat out the prawn into a tissue, called the server and told him about the issue. 

I've pixel-ated the morsel I spat out as it's not a pretty sight :( 

He took the platter and my plate into the kitchen and came back with a very sheepish look. He agreed, the prawns had gone bad. Only those who have ever have the misfortune of biting into disgusting rotten seafood would know what I mean and what I went through for those few minutes. The putrid taste and smell lingered on my senses for what seemed like a very long time. Even Diet Coke could not wash it away. I was gutted at this experience!

My friend had to head back into the city for work hence we quickly ordered a Chicken Nachos. Though it looked very pretty, this too turned out to be a very average dish. The nachos were nothing to write home about. The melted cheese felt like a diluted, thin cheese sauce. I’d made a mental note to not to judge the new dish based on my earlier experience but truly, this dish was very mediocre!

By this time, with the kind of experience we’d had with the food, all we wanted to do was wind up the lunch and leave hence we skipped dessert.

Do I forgive the chef for having a bad day? I do not! I understand a bad day when the food sent out is spicy, salty, oily or overcooked, but when a knowledgeable chef sends out putrid food to my table which could well have landed me at a doctor’s doorstep, or at a hospital, then that is not the kind of bad day I will excuse. If he was having such a bad day, he should have simply taken the off day and stayed home. By the way, even a home cook like me only has to handle a prawn and sniff it once, to know it’s gone bad so absolutely no excuses there.

Four staff members (servers and manager) came over to apologize for the kind of lunch we’d been served. All four requested that I allow them to waive off the entire bill. It was, truly, a very sweet and kind gesture, but I saw no reason why an establishment should bear the cost of what I’d eaten hence each server got politely but sternly sent back to get the bill. Haan, bahut ziddi hu! They, of course, did not charge me for the Nasi Goreng. The Pune Eat Outs (PEO) food discount card got me a 33% discount and the damages for the afternoon were 1095…. and a very sad, broken heart! ☹

Address: Dhanraj Mahal, Next to the Bentley Showroom, Colaba, Mumbai

Tel: +91 8657440661 / +91 8657440664